My kind of people

I’ve been seeing a guy, R, for a bit now, and I’m growing rather, well, unexcited.  He’s nice enough, and we have a lot of similar outlooks on life, etc., but I’m thinking he’s not really my type of people.  You know, those people who within minutes of meeting you know you’re going to be friends with, or would if you were able to stay in touch.

C and I went up to visit a friend from where we lived before who was in town for a few days.  We were friends with him and his wife for probably two years before they moved away and we moved not long after.  They are lovely, wonderful people who C and I would occasionally joke about inviting over for an orgy (in that way where you are only joking because you’re sure it would never, ever happen).  Well we found out today that they are poly and have been for a while.  She was visiting her BF in the city, so we didn’t get to see her, but we did get to meet up with him and his GF.  The GF was totally one of our people.  And it was great to see him.

It’s making an even starker contrast between what I want and what I currently have in R.  My friend is bright and laughing and we can talk about the ridiculous and the serious at the same time.  I just don’t feel that same lightness from R.  Maybe some of that is just that I’ve known my friend longer, but some of it is outright personality.  Plus, I’m just not that physically attracted to R.  I want to be, but I’m not.  I don’t feel any sort of desire, beyond novelty, to be intimate with him, and I don’t think it would be fair to me or him to take things any farther…

I think I should give him one more shot, without any of his or my friends around (which our last three dates have involved).  But I’m going to keep reminding myself that I don’t need to jump into bed/a relationship with the first halfway decent guy who seems to like me.  I can be choosy, and it’s better in the long run if I am.


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