Does Not Compute

I’m all nervous energy tonight and I don’t know why.  I’m seeing him in a little over an hour, and for the past three I’ve barely been able to concentrate.  Why?  I don’t know.  Maybe because it’s spring again I’m reliving the eager excitement of last year, when everything was so new and thrilling?

You’d think 10 months in, I wouldn’t still turn into a puddle of lust-addled goo at the thought of him.  And yet, here I am.

There is a reason I’m still with him, despite his poor treatment of me at times, despite the pain of being the more emotionally invested party, despite the looming cloud that comes with knowing the end will come but not knowing when.  Logically, I should have thrown the towel in months ago, cut my losses and not looked back.  But he fried all my logic circuits long ago and my reptile brain knows what it wants.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: